time to start

My friend Jessie said something in her journal that spun my mind off in a semi-related direction, and rather than clog up her replies with an entirely self-focused response, I thought I would talk about it here. She was talking about being the responsible one in a crisis, the one everyone turns to for support, and how that feels from her perspective. And that got me thinking about my role as my parents' executor and primary caretaker of their home and the ending of their lives.

( ramblings here )

Ok, that wasn't what I expected to talk about at all today. But now I have a hair appointment so it's too late to write more. It can wait for tomorrow.

time to start, again

What I wanted to talk about this morning before I side-tracked myself:

It's time for me to get healthy, again. I have no idea what I weigh but I know it's not good. I don't think I want to know. My eating has been for shit, I drink way too much and too often, and now that I have been back in Illinois I don't even walk the dog like I used to. None of the clothes I was wearing in Florida fit, and I was heavy then. My face and chin are unrecognizable, my ankles are weaker than they have ever been, and I sweat all the time. I am right back to, maybe even worse than, when I started on Medifast 3 years ago. (Two?)

I have done every diet imaginable. I know what I am supposed to do, how much I am supposed to eat. I don't want to follow a program, or have a coach, or even post online about it. (For now, lol.)

So I am just going to start. One meal at a time, one day at a time. Looking at the long view and the short one. Small tweaks and large ones. I will talk to my PCP at my appointment in October about a different weight-loss drug than Zepbound. Just eat better foods, choose health over comfort, move more. I will let my clothing be my guide as to my progress. I don't care about the number on the scale.

I cannot go up another size. I cannot go back on diabetes meds. So this is my solution.

Posting here as a marker for a calendar date.