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k2daisy

June 2025

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Jun. 4th, 2025 08:10 am

Mom

k2daisy: (Default)
[personal profile] k2daisy
My mom's 79th birthday is Friday. Last year, my sister Kate and I posted daily memories and photos on Facebook about Mom every day between Mother's Day and her birthday. Then we did another round from then to Father's Day for Dad. I am so glad we did that; they loved reading them and remembering, and of course in hindsight I am so grateful I had the chance to tell my parents, in detail, their impact on me and my admiration and love for them. They both knew how much I loved them before they died.

June is going to be a rough month. Mom's birthday is the 6th, Father's Day is in a few weeks, and their anniversary is the 17th. This was always a month with lots of cards and gifts and celebrations. Now the events we are preparing for are: house closing on June 9, the estate probate ending sometime soon, and their memorial/water burial July 19-20. Quite the difference.

I start therapy today. The grief is pretty overwhelming, so I could use the help. This time it was through my PCP and insurance so it's not Janet. I had an assessment with the new therapist a few weeks ago, and I liked her. I think she will have some good tools for me to learn.

I did a long drive a couple of weeks ago -- took my parents' ashes to my sister in Connecticut, and attended my 35th college reunion. Those were the main purposes of my trip but I also had a nice reunion with my grade-school friends, and spent a few days with my sister and her family. Plus lots of driving by myself there and back. It was a good trip, I guess. Emotional. But it was a relief to hand off their ashes for a while. It didn't feel like it was all totally on my shoulders as much.

After the socializing portion of my trip was over, I was immediately felled by the flu/virus. Took it easy driving the 3 days home, and then collapsed at home for about a week. Today is the first day I almost feel normal again. I have barely left the house in days. Even took some naps! My husband and I were commenting that I haven't been that knocked down in years, probably since I had cancer and was undergoing the radiation treatments. I think my body realized my brain was not going to give us a break and just stop for a minute, so it forced the issue. I could not really do anything, and so that's what I did. It was a needed respite.

Anyway. I had been re-sharing the Mom posts on FB but honestly it was too hard. I know Kate saw them everyday in her memories too, so the people who needed to see them the most did. I keep forgetting Mom and Dad won't chime in anymore with their comments on my posts. I miss that a lot. I know Kate does too.

This is so fucking hard.
Date: 2025-06-04 04:54 pm (UTC)

vaznetti: (Default)
From: [personal profile] vaznetti
I'm glad you're seeing a grief counselor/therapist -- I hope it's helpful. You have been through a really difficult time already.

::hug::
Date: 2025-06-04 10:31 pm (UTC)

lisforlilydale: (Default)
From: [personal profile] lisforlilydale
I'm sorry this is all so rough and hard. But of course it is. It would be pretty shocking if you weren't intensely affected! I'm glad that you've reached out for help and are trying to take care of yourself best you can. <3
Date: 2025-06-06 04:10 am (UTC)

minnaway: (Default)
From: [personal profile] minnaway
Sending you thoughts of strength and good memories for tomorrow. Good for you for setting up help; I hope it's a good match.
Date: 2025-06-07 07:16 pm (UTC)

annieeats: (Default)
From: [personal profile] annieeats
I'm so sorry about the bad month and am glad you are getting some help. It's a lot.
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