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k2daisyMy mom's 79th birthday is Friday. Last year, my sister Kate and I posted daily memories and photos on Facebook about Mom every day between Mother's Day and her birthday. Then we did another round from then to Father's Day for Dad. I am so glad we did that; they loved reading them and remembering, and of course in hindsight I am so grateful I had the chance to tell my parents, in detail, their impact on me and my admiration and love for them. They both knew how much I loved them before they died.
June is going to be a rough month. Mom's birthday is the 6th, Father's Day is in a few weeks, and their anniversary is the 17th. This was always a month with lots of cards and gifts and celebrations. Now the events we are preparing for are: house closing on June 9, the estate probate ending sometime soon, and their memorial/water burial July 19-20. Quite the difference.
I start therapy today. The grief is pretty overwhelming, so I could use the help. This time it was through my PCP and insurance so it's not Janet. I had an assessment with the new therapist a few weeks ago, and I liked her. I think she will have some good tools for me to learn.
I did a long drive a couple of weeks ago -- took my parents' ashes to my sister in Connecticut, and attended my 35th college reunion. Those were the main purposes of my trip but I also had a nice reunion with my grade-school friends, and spent a few days with my sister and her family. Plus lots of driving by myself there and back. It was a good trip, I guess. Emotional. But it was a relief to hand off their ashes for a while. It didn't feel like it was all totally on my shoulders as much.
After the socializing portion of my trip was over, I was immediately felled by the flu/virus. Took it easy driving the 3 days home, and then collapsed at home for about a week. Today is the first day I almost feel normal again. I have barely left the house in days. Even took some naps! My husband and I were commenting that I haven't been that knocked down in years, probably since I had cancer and was undergoing the radiation treatments. I think my body realized my brain was not going to give us a break and just stop for a minute, so it forced the issue. I could not really do anything, and so that's what I did. It was a needed respite.
Anyway. I had been re-sharing the Mom posts on FB but honestly it was too hard. I know Kate saw them everyday in her memories too, so the people who needed to see them the most did. I keep forgetting Mom and Dad won't chime in anymore with their comments on my posts. I miss that a lot. I know Kate does too.
This is so fucking hard.
June is going to be a rough month. Mom's birthday is the 6th, Father's Day is in a few weeks, and their anniversary is the 17th. This was always a month with lots of cards and gifts and celebrations. Now the events we are preparing for are: house closing on June 9, the estate probate ending sometime soon, and their memorial/water burial July 19-20. Quite the difference.
I start therapy today. The grief is pretty overwhelming, so I could use the help. This time it was through my PCP and insurance so it's not Janet. I had an assessment with the new therapist a few weeks ago, and I liked her. I think she will have some good tools for me to learn.
I did a long drive a couple of weeks ago -- took my parents' ashes to my sister in Connecticut, and attended my 35th college reunion. Those were the main purposes of my trip but I also had a nice reunion with my grade-school friends, and spent a few days with my sister and her family. Plus lots of driving by myself there and back. It was a good trip, I guess. Emotional. But it was a relief to hand off their ashes for a while. It didn't feel like it was all totally on my shoulders as much.
After the socializing portion of my trip was over, I was immediately felled by the flu/virus. Took it easy driving the 3 days home, and then collapsed at home for about a week. Today is the first day I almost feel normal again. I have barely left the house in days. Even took some naps! My husband and I were commenting that I haven't been that knocked down in years, probably since I had cancer and was undergoing the radiation treatments. I think my body realized my brain was not going to give us a break and just stop for a minute, so it forced the issue. I could not really do anything, and so that's what I did. It was a needed respite.
Anyway. I had been re-sharing the Mom posts on FB but honestly it was too hard. I know Kate saw them everyday in her memories too, so the people who needed to see them the most did. I keep forgetting Mom and Dad won't chime in anymore with their comments on my posts. I miss that a lot. I know Kate does too.
This is so fucking hard.
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::hug::
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